When Reality Hits
by Forty-Doors-To-Nowhere
Summary: When the boys and Yui FINALLY get a talking to. The boys get angry and reality hits Yui like a frying pan to the face. My rendition of what I would do if I could sass the DL boys starring: my friend!


Yui stared at the bizarre sight before her. A young girl, about her age, stood at the door in what must've been the most casual clothes ever. Messy red hair, grey baggy shirt with black baggy jeans and scruffy converse shoes. The look was very American but the savage, gleeful anger twinkling in her eye wasn't.

"H-hello?" The pink eyed girl whispered at the bizarre teenager before her, the door separating them. The girl huffed and opened the door before walking in and slammed it as loudly as possible. The chandelier rattled.

"Y-you didn't ne-" Yui stammered before the girl held a finger up to shush her.

"Listen here, you pathetic piece of female protagonist shit." The girl stated, bluntly.

Yui opened her mouth to respond but the girl shook her head.

"Don't speak. Anything that comes out, I'll make you regret. Well, I won't but the vampires in this house will do that for me. After all, you don't have a backbone to do anything about them, now do you?" The red haired snapped at her.

Yui blinked in surprise. "H-how do you-"

"Because you are so bloody predictable." The girl rolled her eyes at this and then proceeded to use her hands to dramatically re-enact scenes from the anime. " 'Ooooohhh! Help me! There's a vampire about to bite me! What ever shall I do? I mean, I have a frying pan in my hands that I could use to beat him senseless but he's simply misunderstood!'"

"Yui, I thought I told you that you can't have visitors over" came an exasperated and annoyed drawl. The 2nd son of Karlheinz stood in the doorway, fixing his glasses. The fiery red head ignored him and continued with her mocking comments of Yui.

"I mean, seriously?! How naïve are you? You're going to be fucking murdered at this point because no one is responsible enough to not drink all your blood! You might as well spread your legs for them while you're at it! I mean, it's not like you're going to say no or anything now, is it? Get a backbone! It's useful, after all. Helps you stand up – not just figuratively but literally!" The girl ranted in annoyance.

Reiji raised his eyebrow. "Firstly, I will not have that language in this house. Secondly, you should leave, human."

"Fuck you and your rules. And I have a name, thank you. You can call me Your Sassiness." The girl responded. Reiji's eye twitched.

"E-excuse me but- " Yui begun before the red head glared at her.

"You have no right to say anything after everything you haven't done." The girl turned to Reiji. "Now, what did you want?"

Reiji's eye twitched again. "Please leave."

The girl grinned and shook her head. "Nah. I don't want to." Reiji's eye twitched dangerously. His mouth opened to speak but the red head cut him off. "What's your issue, anyway?" Reiji frowned.

"What do you mean?" He spoke carefully, anger building.

"I mean, why do you have to be such an over-cultured swine?" The red head grinned.

Reiji spluttered. "How can someone be over-cultured?!"

"Easy. They be like you. I mean, you obviously are Japanese but Vampires originate from France and you dress like you're from an all British Boys' Private School and speak German. The fuck, man? Make your mind up! Not to mention that act as if you're a Chinese communist and a Cambodian dictator. Look, you're obsessed with rules and you try to rule with an iron fist identical to Kim Jong-il's but the thing is – you're obsessed with good marks so it doesn't really work. Good for you for having an amazing work ethic but you've loaded yourself up to the point where if anything goes wrong, you'll explode faster than Hiroshima did, in the World War 2. Make your mind up!"

Reiji stared at the girl and a roar of laughter came from behind him as the triplets clutched their sides, crying with laughter.

"Not to mention you have a stick up your ass and you are so controlled obsessed that I am convinced you must be plotting a mass genocide or something. Look, calm down and develop some real personality, k? K. Good." The girl spat.

Ayato clutched his sides, laughing. "Good one, Pancake!"

Blue eyes lit up in a sadistic light, vengeance burning in them. "What did you call me?"

"Pancake." Ayato repeated, taking a deep breath.

The girl grinned sadistically. "Pancake? Seriously? Is that as original you can get? Or are you so obsessed with food and breasts that Pancake is the only name that you can think of? You're being extremely judgemental – after all could you grow anything? If anything, you're as flat as the floor because pancakes actually have curves and is good to look at. And I'm pretty sure people don't like to look at floors often."

Ayato stared at her as if she had grown two heads. In response, she turned to Kanato and began to continue her savage roast.

"Is that the infamous teddy bear with your mother's ashes inside? That's not only a bit creepy but wouldn't you call it obsessive? You wanted your mother's attention so after she died you put her in your teddy bear and then acted like Teddy only wanted your attention? I'm sorry but it's kinda creepy, delusional and shows signs of poor mental health. And how don't you have diabetes? I mean, you won't stop eating sugar! You must've become a diabetes by now!"

Kanato's face turned red with anger before the red head turned to Laito who gulped.

"Look. Mama's boy. I'm actually kinda sorry for you. I mean, sure. Your brothers all have tragic back stories but yours….. I do feel really sorry for you. However, you still need to learn no. Like, it's every 2 year old's favourite word and they understand the power and conviction of No. You don't but. When I say no, you stop. Like. A. Traffic. Light. And if you don't, I'll hand you your ass on a silver platter. And calling every girl little bitch is not only rude and disgusting but kinda creepy once again. "Little Bitch"? Are you trying to make yourself the position of Alpha? Because all you are right now is an omega – you know, the scapegoat of the pack."

Subaru walked in on the scene – an angry Reiji and Kanato, a pissed off Laito, a confused Ayato and Yui, who still had no idea. He started to back away before the red head took notice of him and began an attack of her verbal assault.

"Finally. The Hulk is here. Let's get the car jokes out of the way quickly *the girl made car sounds quickly*. So. You're the son of the dainty incestuous rose who happens to be locked up in the tower and hates her son. Boo-hoo. Poor you. Why don't you actually go and find her some mental help before it's too late? I mean, she's still alive unlike everyone else's mother so you should be thankful and get the fuck out of here while you can. After all, you're probably the least screwed up when you're not pissed off. But while you get your mother and yourself some mental help, start trying to control your anger. You break more walls than I break the fourth wall. So please, get yourself some help."

Everyone stared at the girl, many faces turning into anger when finally Shuu walked into the room. He yawned and stared at the red head. "You're too loud."

"I have no idea how I'm going to roast you to be honest. You're the laziest, most thankless person in this household and you sleep more than a bear does in hibernation. Besides, what the fuck is up with your necklace? Is that meant to be like a choker or MP3? And your dress style screams "I was in a coma for 9,000 years and woke up yesterday before going back to sleep." Like really? Would it bother you to wear different clothes? Or maybe not bathe in your clothes? At this point, they're probably mouldy."

 **SMASH!**

Everyone heads turned towards the loud crash as a young girl with curly blonde hair stumbled through the window with a frying pan which was held aggressively.

"You're finally here. She's yours." The red head girl drawled.

The newcomer lurched straight for Yui before starting to beat her senseless with the frying pan.

"Grow! *hit* A! *hit* Back! *hit* Bone! *hit* YOU LITTLE FUCKER! *knocks Yui unconscious*"

Everyone stared before the red head rolled her eyes. "D'Arcy, we'll become lunch since we've destroyed their lunch. Let's go now."

The blonde haired girl nodded before the two women ran out.

The 6 vampires stared at one another in confusion and anger at what just happened.


End file.
